Saturday, August 11, 2007

The Most Annoying IRC personalities 2

There are many annoying people in this world and it would come to reason that a good deal of them come to troll on IRC. After the semi-success of the previous one and a few suggestions from other IRC users....

Here are a few more:

The Expert In the Mist: This guy knows almost everything about the discussion topic. He can program in 30 different languages and can build just about any electronic device from scratch. He has the answer to ALL of your questions. The only problem is he only stops idling for about 10 minutes, 12:00 at night on the first full moon of the year if the ambient temperature in France is equal to the the average temperature of the arctic icecaps multiplied by negative pi.

Mr. Quits: This guy quits randomly, often in the middle of a conversation, with no warning at all. Mr. Quits will be 3 lines away from fully explaining how to fix that obscure problem with your system when he suddenly quits. Mr. Quits never means to leave you hanging but he does it with such frequency that one can only assume he has a subconscious need to frustrate and shatter hopes.

The Drunkard: This si thast guy who stll massags oi got oblime nd talk abt.... stuff... even after he's brought himself 2 drinks away from alcohol poisoning. He normally starts off by listing in detail exactly what beverages were consumed in order for him to bless you with his current state. Then he slowly becomes less and less coherent until he gives a semi-coherent away message and passes out.

The Unknown Idler: This guy has been idling since the channel was started. Upon checking the logs you find that he said "hi" about two years back. May be dead.

The Playlist:
I've often wanted to know exactly what song the other channel members are listening to. Thankfully, The Playlist is there to help me out. Shamelessly informing everyone in approximately 3 minute intervals the poorly formatted title, artist and play time information of their blatantly pirated mp3s. To make matters worse, The Playlist normally has horrendously bad taste in music.

The Morally Terrifying:

This guy has no discernible morals. The morally terrifying is the only one who thinks a discussion about gun-point rape and the like is a fun channel topic. Freud would have a heyday with this man. We can just hope his mother knows better than to hug him for too long at a time.

Lucifer the Op: Just try to wander off topic or be slightly abrasive and Lucifer will kick/ban for the next 3 months. Lucifer tends to select a few close friends who make sure that he doesn't miss an opportunity to ban someone.

The Uninformed:

This guy will join in on the discussion and talk about the topic. Can get very repetitive and infuriating. Whether it be about religion or cars he will contribute something... normally obvious or blatantly wrong. Will make sure you completely understand that smaller tires give you better gas mileage. 

The Internet Aggregator: This guy never says anything of his own (other than the occasional lol or yea) but constantly sends links of funny/interesting finds on the internet. A internet aggregator is most terrifying when paired with digg and bash.

The Bot: The Bot is a hideous twisted peice of code that sits in the channel and spams useless information. Normally some withered malicious soul controls the silly thing, making sure that it has all the features nobody wants, such as the google compare feature or the all popular insult generator. The Bot's owner will normally start using his bot during the most interesting discussion of the day, there by ending it. The Bot is often modeled after other annoying IRC personalities, so that the channel will always have an Internet Aggregator and Lucifer the Op.


Hastor said...

Great list, was gonna suggest another but Lucifer covered it. Good list! Once you've made the last chapter (if 2 wasn't it) you should throw up a poll to vote which type we think we are. I'd say I'm 50/50 guy with a touch of morally terrifying. I don't say that to be cool, but because I do think talking about crap like exampled is fun!

christel said...

Thanks for those, gave me some early morning amusement! :)

DammitCoetzee said...

@hastor, I'm keeping a list of new ones but I think that's a far off in the future thing... Plus, I think I got most of the main ones... I like the poll Idea.

I'm glad. =D

Nicolas said...

Dude... The previous one was funny but this one made me actually LOL!

DammitCoetzee said...

Thanks =D

Jane said...

Ahh, do one on women :p

Well, not many stereotypes that would fit, but apparently we're rare enough that it's special to be female in some way and actually be able to figure out IRC...*grumble*, people need to stop asking immature questions.

Justin said...

you talked about dig and bash but didn't make them, and you forgot about the most horrible of them all...the troll